What we talked about when we talk about love...

When I think of love, my mind always drifts back to that Beatles' song "All You Need Is Love." Love is advertised everywhere. Almost every single song on the radio talks about love, the tv shows always tend to have some small storyline about the two main stars falling in love while trying to solve a crime. Or lets not forget commercials that introduce a product by showing people falling in love over it. Why is this? People want to be loved. The problem in today's society though is that the defintion of love has been tarnished and trampled on. The famous three worded phrase is not even appreciated because of how easily depicted it is. For example, I see couples that are one week into a relationship and already their saying "I love you." Raymond Carver's story "What we talked about when we talk about love" is about two couples who gather around a table and talk about what love is. The diferent answers that come up are somewhat rather crazy. One women belived that her abusive ex boyfriend was madly in love with her because of his proclamation, yet he would stalk her and threaten her life. Her husband questions himself on how he could be head over heels for his first wife and then turn around and hate her now. The question brought up in this story is what is love? I have never been in love but I came close to it and I can say that its something that makes you feel as if your on cloud nine but at the same time it can turn around and leave a bigger scar on your heart because of the love that was shared. Love makes you feel vulnerable to the other person and leaves you trusting them with your whole heart. But what I learned is this. There is no such thing as love at first sight. It is LUST at first sight. Love takes time. Its doesn't just involve a physical attraction, it involves an emotional connection as well. But this doesn't happen instantly. Saying I love you to a person is saying "honey, we've experienced the hardships, the goodtimes, seen each other at our worst and best and from this I can say that I love you with my whole heart, soul and mind." That to me is what love is. Its experiencing and growing from the good and bad things that leaves you to appreciate and cherish the love that was created from going through that. Its the 75 year old man who after surviving a car accident wasn't happy that he survived but rather upset that he couldn't see his wife through his bandages. I can't imagine the capactiy of love that couple had for each other after all those years together. But what I do know is the love they had is authentic and beautiful because of the journey that took them to that place.