Interpretation: "The Things They Carried"

This paper is dedicated to Thomas Winkler. I never had the blessing of knowing you Grandpa, but I am truly blessed for all that you have carried for our family and country. I love you.
December 7, 1941 is a day that will live in infamy. It was the first attack against our country where Japanese planes bombed Pearl Harbor. Thousands of soldiers lost their lives and thousands more came from it when the US declared war on Japan. Soldiers were drafted and put in a place with memories that will always weigh them down. Today is the 68th anniversary of that disastrous day, a day that will forever be imbedded in the mind of every American who was alive on that day. My grandpa was one of the brave soldiers who went to battle at Iwo Jima. What he saw, he never talked about. It hurt too much. There was mention from my dad that he was there when his best friend was blown up; this was one of the many things that he carried on him for the rest of his life. To his dying day he refused to eat or buy anything Japanese. The war memories that he carried on himself had a lasting impact on his family and the duration of his life. His sons followed in his footsteps 25 years later when they served in the Vietnam War. “The Things They Carried” gave me somewhat of an idea of what my Grandpa and Uncles had experienced during Vietnam.
This story revolves around Lieutenant Jimmy Cross and his soldiers. It goes on to talk about the things they carried. For example, Jimmy Cross was head over heels in love with Martha from back home. He carried her letters as if they were a part of him. He lived and breathed those letters. “He would sometimes taste the envelope flaps, knowing her tongue had been there, more than anything he wanted Martha to love him as he loved her. “ These letters represented his dream world; his “would have been” if he wasn’t in the trenches fighting for her freedom. Clutching those letters to his chest was like holding on to something that wasn’t in reach of his fingertips. He needed something to hold onto while his whole world around him was crumbling. Jimmy was not the only one who carried something so close to his heart. Henry Dobbins carried extra rations. Dave Jensen carried his toothbrush, dental floss, soap, three pairs of socks and foot powder. Mitchell Sanders carried condoms. Norman Baker carried his diary. Rat Kiley carried comic books. Kiowa a devout Baptist carried an illustrated New Testament Bible and before Ted Lavender died he carried tranquilizers and dope.
These were the very first things mentioned in what the soldiers carried. It didn’t go into the infantry they carried at first, no it talked about the personal things close to them. When I read the different kinds of the things that the soldiers carried with them it had really pulled at my heart because I didn’t just see them as another statistic on the battlefield. Instead they represented the quarterback of the football team, or the rambunctious neighbor down the road. These were everyday people who had loved comic books and carried condoms in their wallet. They had families and friends who loved and were waiting behind for them.
What kinds of memories did these soldiers carry when they were on the battlefield? In the beginning of the story the soldiers were spoken of like the neighborhood boys. Ted Lavender was talked about as if he was still a part of them. It casually mentioned how he happened to get shot in the head. As if this was just a normal thing of war which it is, but at the same time they pull the reader into the emotion on the battlefield because they talked of Ted like a brother. However the story of Ted represents the horror and death faced in Vietnam. “Kiowa, who saw it happen, said it was like watching a rock fall, or a big sandbag or something--- just boom, then down—not like the movies where the dead guy rolls around and does fancy spins and goes ass over tea kettle—not like that Kiowa said, the poor bastard just flat fell. Boom. Down. Nothing else.” This is the climax where everything else goes downhill. Death tends to do that to people. You have to stop and rethink what could have been or how it could have been prevented. As the man in charge, it was Jimmy Cross’s responsibility to make sure everything was in order. Not only did he carry letters and pictures from Martha but he carried the responsibility for the lives of his men. Yet all he could look at was the pebble. For this pebble was his good luck charm from Martha. “It was a simple pebble, an ounce at most. Smooth to the touch, it was a milky-white color with flecks of orange and violet, oval shaped, like a miniature egg…she had found the pebble on the Jersey shore-line, precisely where things came together but also separated. It was this separate but together quantity; she wrote that inspired her to pick up the pebble.” This pebble interprets the common denominator between both worlds. It doesn’t fit in her world, but at the same time it doesn’t fit in his either. This is the relationship between Martha and Jimmy. She cannot take the idea of being with someone who is thousands miles away in a whole other world instead she is safe in her own world made up of college and bike rides. It cannot fit into his world either because the things that he faces everyday could never be properly conjoined to her world. They were the pebble balancing on the shoreline, the blurry line that isn’t clear if it’s on the beach or in the water.
The death of Lavender represented the death of the dreams and desires Jimmy had for Martha. It was from this daydreaming that had killed Lavender. It was from him wishing to be in another world, another reality that took the bullet to Lavender’s head. Jimmy dug himself a hole deep enough to burn every ounce of longing and love for Martha. Still he knew, “Lavender was dead, you couldn’t burn the blame.” Yet this was something that he needed to prove to himself that he was burying it once and for all, that his dream world consisting of love was dead to him. It was nonexistent. His reality was Vietnam and carrying the responsibility for the lives of his men.
“They carried all the emotional baggage of men who might die, grief, terror, love, longing—these were intangibles but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight. They carried shameful memories. They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained, the instinct to run or freeze or hide, and in many respects this was the heaviest burden of all, for it could never be put down, it required perfect balance and perfect posture.” The Things they Carried” was one of the most influential and heartbreaking stories I have ever read. It gave me such a broader insight on what the soldiers really do carry. These soldiers represent any kind of soldier that has fought for our freedom. They long for a Martha who will write them letters and send them pictures with the glance of a life that is out of reach to them. For Jimmy, “he was just a kid at war, in love.” Interpreting this story to find the hidden meaning behind didn’t just give me an appreciation of what these soldiers went through. It also took me into the life of every soldier that has served for our freedom. It brings me to tears imagining the sort of things these soldiers had to carry on them even for the duration of their life. I will never know the extent of the painful memories they had to endure. What I do know is that on this 68th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, I will thank my fellow veterans for all they have carried for me, for my freedom. I will look into their faces and see the face of my grandpa who endured so much at Iwo Jima and yet he never let the burden of what he carried fall on anyone else. “They shared the weight of memory. They took up what others could no longer bear.” I am truly in awe of these soldiers because just from what I read has already put me on my knees, thanking God for giving us these soldiers who carried the burdens of war so that we will have our freedom.

The Eagle

Symbolism is everywhere. It’s represented through literature, movies, TV, public places, relationship, scripture and so much more. Sometimes I forget just how often it is used because I’ve grown so accustomed to it. The eagle is a strong representation of symbolism in the Bible and in our country. The Bible talks about how we have to “rise up on wings like Eagles.” Why Eagles? Why not hawks or sparrows? It is the eagle who symbolizes freedom and strength. The eagle is the national bird for the United States of America. This bird is everywhere such as on our monetary currency and the symbol that stands tall on the very top of the flag. I think that symbolism is so accustomed to me that I don’t really even think about it anymore. When I look at the eagle as the national figure for our country, I don’t always think wow this is the representation for freedom, instead I just see a bird. This is unfortunate because it’s important to remember how blessed we are to live in this country and it is the eagle that helps us remember that. We can get so busy in what we call life and while it is important that we live it to its full potential, I still think it’s important to remember the reason we are here. That we have the freedom of speech, religion, the opportunity of any kind of work for both men and women, and we have the freedom to be who we want to be. This is a blessing that we often tend to forget in our everyday lifestyle. I know next time I take out a dollar and come across the beautiful eagle on the back of the dollar bill, I need to stop and appreciate what this bird represents. He is the representation of freedom and Christ’s blessings on this country.

Pass

I'm going to pass tonight.

Dr. Horrible and his nonsense movie

Dr. Horrible’s sing along blog is probably one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen. It was about a mad scientist and I mean he was a MAD scientist. He was a wannabe mad villain who broke out in random songs. For instance, when he reads a blog post about the girl he keeps hinting towards he ends up breaking out into another song about his girl Penny. It transforms into another scene of him at the Laundromat admiring Penny from afar. His change of heart makes you think he’s a good guy but yet he turns around and goes on his rampage about his hate for Captain Hammer. At times I couldn’t really keep up with this storyline especially the random songs with cowboys popping out of nowhere. While some of it was comical, I felt like I was watching Bill Nye the science guy except he happened to have an arch rival and love interest. I wouldn’t watch this again because I didn’t really connect with the scenes but I did see the connection with all the other stories I have read. The connection is this; every story is always based around love and death. This movie wasn’t any different. At the end because of Dr. Horrible’s mistake, Penny ended up getting murdered. The hate Dr. Horrible had for Captain
Hammer ended up coinciding with his love Penny which resulted in her death. This was very tragic but at the same time the way they portrayed it seemed kind of comical. A lot of people may like this kind of thing but for me I have a hard time watching this because I just see at as a jumble of music and emotions that don’t even fit each other. This movie may have been appreciated by others but I didn’t find it to be worthwhile.

Through my eyes

This weekend I was able to experience the scenery and wonder of the lake in a whole different perspective. I arrived there Saturday morning around 11, the temperature was not too hot and there was still a hint of a morning breeze as I walked toward the lake. It’s different seeing the lake on a Saturday morning rather than a weekday. I think it’s different because I’m not worn down with the thought of classes lurking ahead or thinking about the five page paper that’s due the next day. No, my Saturday morning was my relaxation time, a time where I can just take in the sights around me and really find a true appreciation for the landscape I’ve been placed in. I saw kids running around with huge smiles on their faces, couples hand in hand as they walked around, a group of friends sharing their adventures of the week over a picnic, these different kinds of scenes in front of me really made me rethink of the way people take to nature. A seven year old boy maybe doesn’t see it as a park, but rather he looks at it like an adventure. The trees hold his home and the water represents the barrier between him and the “lost land.” Maybe a new college graduate sees this place as something that will change his life forever. For this will be the place that he goes down on one knee and asks the question to his love that will forever change his life. A grandmother can look at this and go back 50 years and reminisce of the time she fell in love. Nature can be transformed in all kinds of ways through different kinds of people. When I looked at the lake I didn’t just see trees and plants around me, instead I saw blessings that were given to me by God in the form of nature.

God's Wonder

Throughout the past couple of class periods we have read all kinds of poems regarding nature. To be honest I was not really looking forward to wasting an hour of my time talking about the trees. I guess this kind of mindest has come from our worlds"go green" campaign. Lately, I've been feeling as if people are treating nature as if it's the most important thing happening in our world right now. It's frustrating to watch people throw down their bodies right in front of a tree and risk their own life in order to save the dear tree's life. What I really would like to say is why our people putting all of this energy into saving nature while there are thousands of babies being murdered from abortion everyday or what about the homeless on the street who have no food or clothing? This is what we need to concentrate on... REAL people. Trees do not have a soul but people do and yet so many people are getting too wrapped up on saving the planet from global warming. This is the mindset I have had for a long time and I still somewhat do but from reading these poems and looking at photos of nature I feel as if some of my mindset has shifted a little bit. I have not taken the time to appreciate God's beautiful and majestic creation. From the mountains to the oceans, there is such a beautiful work of art that is entailed in this world. In every state and country there seems to be a different scene that is beautiful in its own way. I have seen pictures of nature that has absolutely taken my breath away and I can't help but thank God for placing me in His beautiful masterpiece. I believe He wants me to see His creation of nature and see that no one else can create this but God. How can people not believe in a God after seeing all that He has created? While I still stand firm to the matter that we need to concentrate more on the people that are hurting rather than our planet, I feel that it's time I stop and take in my surroundings. God gave me an amazing gift of His creation and it's up to me to choose how I want to appreciate it.

Six Recognitions of the Lord

When I read” Six Recognitions of the Lord,” I kept on trying to see how it could relate to my life. While the poem was very beautiful and deep, I still couldn’t relate it to myself. That all changed when I read a section that took me back to the beach on Saturday. “Of course I have always known you are present in the clouds, and the black oak I especially adore, and the wings of birds.” This immediately jumped out to me because I encountered this on Saturday. Lately I have been having a hard time trusting God and knowing that he has my best interest at heart. I remember lying and basking in the hot Florida sun just thinking how blessed I was to be here for nine months out of the year. It was then that I looked up to the sky and saw something that was marvelous. I saw three birds flying in the air that looked to be a face in the sky. However, it wasn’t the birds in the sky that I was looking at but I felt as if I was looking at the face of God. He was in the sky looking down on His marvelous wonder and creation. He saw every individual and wave that crashed onto the shores of the ocean. It was then that I closed my eyes and just whispered a prayer thanking Him for His majestic creation and for picking me to love. After that prayer I felt a still small voice that whispered back, “Christine, I see everything. While you see just a clip, I see the whole picture.” Looking up at the sky and seeing the face really gave me a better depiction that it’s true. We need to trust God and know that He sees everything in our life. While we question why a certain situation is happening to us or why God would let this happen, we need to know that he sees the final result. It’s beautiful and amazing and all we need to do is put our full trust in Him.

Pass

I'm taking a pass tonight.

Enemy of the People

I was not crazy about “Enemy of the People,” it reminded me too much about our own mess the US is in when it comes to the majority and politics. For Dr. Stakman he was ridiculed because he chose to take a stand against the majority and instead choose to stand up for what is right, even if it hurt him. This is really similar to the issues America has been facing today. It seems that when someone stands up for something that isn’t majority; people will ridicule them until there face is blue. For instance, there were a couple cases of different people who were against the belief of global warming. We were assigned to write a research paper on the effects of global warming. One girl in my class chose to stand up against what the majority was for and instead decided to write about it on why it was a fake. For the rest of the year this individual was torn down every chance someone got. Even the teacher spoke badly about her and admitted to the class that she failed her paper. I did not want to write about the effects of global warming because I didn’t believe in it either, but unfortunately I was a coward to stand up for my beliefs and I chose to succumb to the pressure of the majority. Dr. Stakman knew what was right and chose to stand up for his beliefs. From his decision the people had chosen to make him an “enemy of the people”. It’s unfortunate that in today’s society that people have to give in to the pressure of what the minority thinks is “right” and instead keep silent their true beliefs.” Enemy of the People” is a clear representation of something that has been ongoing since the beginning of time. People will always choose to be part of the majority so they do not have to face the ridicule from others.

Love Letters and War

The first couple weeks of class we read all kinds of short stories, poems and folk songs that always had an underlying theme of love and death. Ever y book I have read has always had some sort of love story in it for example, I read Atonement and this is what the book is all about… love and death. This novel is based around World War II a time where death and love was inevitable. Every story that is based in the time period of World War II always has the same kind of storyline. Girl and Boy fall in love. Boy leaves for war and only relies on the letters from his Girl. Boy ends up dying in war. In the story Cecilia and Robbie fall in love. She was the rich girl and he was her landscaper. There love comes across as forbidden considering the different kinds of classes there in. Yet, when they finally reveal their feelings for each other, Cecilia’s little sister catches the two together and from there the plot begins. She lies to her entire family about Robbie and for that Robbie is thrown in prison for years. Everyone believes her except for Cecilia who stands up for Robbie. Throughout the course of the next couple of years she writes him letters promising her love to him. After he is let out of prison, he is sent right to the battlefield. It is here that he sees the horror and brutality of war. However, he still finds a way to get through it only because of Cecilia’s letters. These kinds of stories that involve letters and war just break my heart. You know that stories like these will always end badly which is horrible because you become immersed with the characters and their love letters. I’m not going ruin the end of the story but considering the way every war story goes we can figure it out…

The Beating of the Rain

Olivia pulled her car in the closest parking lot in sight. It was 12:28 am, and each raindrop on her windshield was another memory that sprung up in her mind. Her cries weren’t just whimpering of quiet sadness. No, these cries were competing against the sound of the rain. The crying only seemed to get louder and louder as a way of finally letting the world know that it was unjust. Olivia closed her wet eyes and tried hard not to think of when her heart was set on a path that was impossible to go back.
It was the best vacation she had in a long time. It was on this vacation that she finally knew where she stood when it came to friendships and dating. I guess it was easy to go along with the approach of being content of not having a guy considering she never really knew the feeling of having her heart broken. She stepped on the terminal that would take her to the family van. Sitting down on the seat, she whispered a prayer. This was a prayer of love and purity for the continuous grace that her Father had shown her. It was in this prayer that she knew that everything she did was based around Christ first and foremost. “I’m ready,” she thought. “I’m ready to be the example in my school and youth group. Nothing will hold me back.”
How much had changed since that cold brisk day in the terminal. There was so much hope and reassurance. How could she have changed so quickly? How could she of done the very thing she never thought was going to of happened so soon. That was giving her heart away to someone that was undeserving of it.
“Hi, I’m Henry, I just moved in with the pastor a week ago.” Olivia’s eyes widened to the point where she thought they wouldn’t be able to take it any longer. “Calm yourself,” she chanted silently in her head over and over. “Just because he happens to be blonde and gorgeous doesn’t mean I have to make a fool of myself” she thought. Throughout the course of the night when she first met Henry, she couldn’t think of anything else. She really did not understand what it meant to have your heart beat 150 times a minute until she was with Henry. They played cards, talked about their families and shared the passions that God had placed on their heart. People knew by the end of the evening this relationship formed wasn’t taken lightly; instead it was going to be something on going for a long time.
It was 11:30pm when Olivia finally left Henry. The rain was coming down so hard, it was nearly impossible to keep both eyes open. It wasn’t until she placed her hand on her car door that she remembered she needed to say goodbye to Henry. Right when she was about to turn around to find him she heard her name called. “Olivia!” Henry yelled across the driveway. Every other thought left her mind and she ran to meet Henry halfway. Water was running down their entire bodies, their hair was soaking wet yet none of that mattered when she saw him. She just needed to know that he was right there. “I just wanted to make sure that you drive home safe. Please be careful. It’s really scary out there.” Those were his departing words as she turned to walk back to her car.
“Wait!” she cried. Olivia turned around and ran into Henry’s arms as if this was the last time she would ever see him, yet this was the very first time she had met him. This scene looked like it was taken out of a scene from The Notebook. Boy and Girl run into each other’s arms with no chance of letting go. It was in Henry’s arms that Olivia finally found the place where she belonged.
Olivia flinched quickly when she realized the path her memories were taking her. “I can’t think about this, I was such a fool. I am still one” she repeated to herself over and over in her parked car. If only she knew the trail that started from this relationship. If only she listened to logic and the people around her, rather than what she thought her heart was telling her. If only…
“What’s your problem Henry? One minute you act as if you care deeply for me, then the next you act as if I have the plague. What’s wrong? What did I do?” This was the typical conversation Henry and Olivia would have about once a month. The rest of the time was an ongoing roller coaster. People couldn’t keep up with it. They were happy and together or they were frustrated and upset. However, if Henry did one special thing for her, Olivia would forget about the ten other wrongs that he done minutes before. She was smitten. Her heart didn’t beat at the same pace as her brain was telling her to back away. She was falling harder and harder for him as the months progressed. Sure he acted like a jerk plenty of times but when they went to the mission field and he shared his inner feelings with her alone, she couldn’t help but feel that this feeling was too good to pass up. Olivia couldn’t stay away but she knew getting too close was lethal at the same time. Unfortunately for her she was already infected, the side effects were dangerous.
“Trust me Henry. I’m not going to break your heart. Let me be the one to help you take off these layers that you’re using to protect yourself. I won’t hurt you. I promise” Olivia remembered the moment she had uttered those words. She pictured his face as she said those words. Tears were slowly starting to form in his eyes as he listened to her. “If only I protected myself at the same time” she thought. She assured herself to Henry over and over, never realizing that it was herself that needed the most protecting. Did those words help build the relationship? No, what it did was that it showed Henry that Olivia was his even if he didn’t offer the same promise in return.
“I missed you since you’ve been in school” Henry softly said as he looked into Olivia’s transparent brown eyes. Her eyes told the whole story. Even when she went away to school and thought she was over Henry, she knew she was wrong when she looked at him for the first time she came back home. “I’m never going to get over him she thought. If I feel this way then we must be meant for each other.”
“I was so wrong,” she softly whispered as the remaining tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. How could I of been so wrong. She threw her head against the steering wheel and slowly rehashed the hour before her world came crashing down.
She walked into the youth room, eager to surprise everybody. The first person Olivia set her sights on was Henry. Henry; beautiful, fun, crazy and amazing Henry. He gave her the same look that he always did. It was the kind of look where she has to stop for ten seconds while trying to get her heart to slow down. Just when she was about to say hi to him, Marie pulled her to the side with a look of sadness and pity. “Did you hear the news?” Marie said. “No, what’s the news?” Marie pulled Olivia off to the side, to a place that was private enough so that people wouldn’t have to witness the heartbreak that was about to take place for Olivia. “Henry is getting married.”
Olivia turned the key in the ignition and put the car in reverse. The rain was beginning to let up and the sun was peeking through the clouds. With tear stained eyes, Olivia slowly left the parking lot. Leaving behind every memory of her once beloved Henry.

Atonement

My literature novel that I am reading for the class right now is Atonement by Iam McEwan. This book is set in 1935 around the War. From reading the inside cover I can see that this book is a big cause and effect and the reprucussions from it. It seems to be that the younger sister tells a lie which will forever impact the everyone involve. This book looks to be made up of romance, drama, suspense, manipulation and guilt. This is my kind of novel because I love reading books like this. I was afraid that since it had to be "literary" I wouldn't like it but I think I was wrong. So far I have enjoyed reading the first couple of pages and seeing the different kinds of characters that have been introduced so far. I've always loved seeing how much change the characters go through from the first to last chapter in the novel. I can tell that this novel is going to be one of those novels that are going to have many dynamic character. Especially when war is involved, the soldiers always seem to change from the effect of war. It will be interesting to see how much different shy Robbie will be. I really am looking forward to reading this book for English, it will be interesting to see how different this novel is compared to the other novels I have read on my own.

Reading

I am looking forward to the next couple of class periods. I love to read. I love the idea of being able to place myself in a whole different world and to let myself get lost in the characters and plotlines of the stories. Reading is nothing like watching a movie because a movie doesn't let your imagination run wild, instead it sets everything out for you. However, for books our imagination takes over the pages of the book. It can take us away from the stress of our daily life and instead it lets us be swept away in a life that isn't ours. Reading expands your mind in ways you never imagined it could be. It could be a mystery, romance, suspence, thriller... it's all up to you and your library card. For example, I've fallen in love with Edward Cullen in Twilight. I became a mercantile bride who settled in the 1800's in Seattle with the expectation of being a teacher never a bride. The greatest thing about reading books is that don't have to be afraid of getting a broken heart in the process. What I do know is that reading offers me an escape to stories that are endless and that will always be etched in my memory.

Our Perspective on Poetry and Art

Visiting an Art Gallery tomorrow will really give us a new perspective on the way we can interrupt literature. For example, sometimes poems are used as a reference to what the author is trying to convey. It's hidden within the complexities of phrases or statements that really makes the reader think what the poet wants us to know. For instance, the poem we read in class didn't make sense to me at first. I thought it was about a guy who had an infatuation with a lady. It wasn't until I read it again that I really dug deep in what was happening with the plotline. That poem presented to me a completely different picture, one that I never saw the first time. That is how it is when it comes to looking at paintings. At first we just see a jumble of colors on a canvas and we can't help but wonder why this is even showcased. It is not until we look at it a second or third time that we can see the message that the painter wants to convey to his audience. Interprutation comes a long way in both poetry and art. We can not just look at it once and expect to know what its saying. Instead we need to look at it over and over and analyze what it's telling us. When we finally do figure it out, we see it in a whole different perspective.

The Importance of Character

The character is the focus of every movie and storyline. They define how the plot will proceed and the ability to transform themselves into the person they are trying to be gives the audience a better inscription on the kind of person they are. They can make the plot believable or really out there. People tend to forget just how important the character is in the movie, but really a lot of it comes from the subconscious mind when it comes to the way they react to the scene. I know a lot of the times when I watch a movie, I often make a decision in the first ten minutes whether it’s worth my time or not. Instead I tend to see the role that the characters will play in the story and it’s decided whether they can handle the capacity of the kind of character they contribute to. For example, when we read the required reading on character my eyes kept focusing on Vivian Leigh in Gone with the Wind. Her character defined the movie. She was able to portray to the audience the emotion and feeling that came along with her role. We were able to picture what women like Scarlett actually experienced during the Civil War. When the Civil War is mentioned everyone’s mind starts with the soldiers and war. We forget what the other sex had went through. Vivian Leigh’s character is able to depict to the audience the raw emotion and anguish that came along with being a women during that time period. We know that the character did a good job when we can start to relate and feel the emotion that the character is portraying. That is why Gone with the Wind is considered to be one of the best movies of all time. It was because of the way the characters were portrayed.

Music

Tuesday's class we payed close attention to the effect that music has on people. Music is far beyond just lyrics on a page, it's a story. Music is one of the most important things to me. Everyday I always have some song on to get me throught my studies or to help me de-stress. When I'm going through a tough time and I feel as if no one can understand what I'm going through, I instead just put on a song that can help me relate to that situation. It is my release and without it I would still be trying to work through it alot longer. Music is the hope and inspiration for so many people that just from listening to a few songs it can motivate a person to set out what they want to do. It provides a commonality for other people to relate to with each other and it's even a good conversation starter. You can tell alot by a person just by seeing the kind of music they listen to. Also you can tell alot by a persons' mood from just hearing what they have on at that particular time. Music provides entertainment, hope and even worship. From the beginning of time music has been a constant. David started out on his harp and from there he danced and worshiped God in his kingdom. Music is consisted of all kinds of genres and levels. It really is the common denominator in this world. Without music this world would be a boring place; Emotions and feelings would never be expressed in the way that it should. Music is timeless and will be here forever.

My Painting...

The painting I made in class illustrates a passage of scripture in Joel that represents the promise of God's restoring power in the land of Judah. Joel 2:24-27 represents my painting. "The threshing floors will be filled with grain; tha vats will overflow with new wine and oil. I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten the great locust and the young locust, the other locust and the locust swarm -- my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat until you are full, and I will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed."

In my painting I drew the dry barren ground that represents despair and depression for Israel. Nothing has flourished from the ground and just above it is the locust that swarm around it. Yet, there is a beautiful colorful sunset that starts to enrapture everything around it. This sunset represents the hope, love and promise God has given to His people that they will suffer no more. My picture represents just how powerful God's love and promise is on the land of Judah. While Judah seems dry and hopeless at the time, it is then that God's promise of prosperity begans to create a magnificent work of art on the land that He has specifically chosen for His people.

Reflection

Tuesday’s class really made me think of the way I read the bible. Sometimes when I just want to get a quick verse in, I just open it up randomly and see what the Lord has to say for the day. However, on Tuesday we were asked to read it out loud in front of the lake. When I read it in front of the lake I had felt as if the bible had come alive. I felt the presence of God just enrapture my heart and engage with me with the emotion and promise he had for Joel. It was beautiful. One verse stuck out to me, “Rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” Reading that verse over the water really made me feel the depth of Christ’s love. You see this verse wasn’t just used for Joel’s time, but instead the Lord knew that at this time and place there were college students who needed to feel reassurance from the verse just as much as Joel needed it. Scripture in the Bible is still relevant in today’s world. The word of God is our foundation. Scripture can affect a person in all kinds of ways. For instance, the story of Esther and her courage wasn’t put in just for little girls’ enjoyment that there were princesses in the bible. No, this was put in to tell others that Esther was placed for “such a time as this.” Just like Esther we are to follow the calling that Christ has on our life, even if it is challenging at times. Reading the bible in front of the lake really broadened my horizons in the way God had presented scripture to His people. It’s up to us on how we choose to use it.

I Will Praise You In This Storm

The story of Job is the book that no one ever wants to read. It’s a change from everything else we read in the Bible. Instead of a “nice ending” with God defeating the devil, we instead read about everything that has been stripped away from Job and the suffering he encounters from it. You can’t help but ask the question; “Where is God, why would he let him encounter all of this suffering? That’s a question I know every individual has asked at least once in the course of their lifetime. Where is God when we’re dealing with this pain? If He is our caretaker and protector, why isn’t he protecting us from this? Unfortunately this question has run through my head on more than one occasion. It was last semester that I really questioned Him because of all of the stuff I had gone through. Within two weeks I was literally broken. My friends were turning against me, people were gossiping about me, I had a “follower” who tore me down every chance he got and the worse was hearing that my first and only ”almost” love was getting married. Not once did he ever mention that he was even talking to another girl. All this in a two week span really took a toll on me. There were times like Job that I just sat in my room and didn’t usher a word. Instead I dwelled on everything that was going wrong in my life. I was broken. I had never felt so weak, hurt and worn down in my life. I was angry with God for letting all of this happen. I wanted Him to just take the pain away and let me go back to living my regular life. However, like Job He knew just how powerful He was and the promise He had to protect and bless His children even when we didn’t realize it. It was in the desert that I put myself in my father’s arms and let Him take control of everything. It was in my season of brokenness that I drew closer to my Savior’s love more than ever before. It took that heartbreaking experience for me to see just how powerful my God is. I learned that even when we feel that we have no one else; it is God who will still have his arms out for us saying “Come my child, find solace and comfort in my unconditional love.” Job is the one book of the bible that is the most depressing, but people don’t ever talking about the epilogue of Job’s story. God made Job prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. God did the same for me. I learned from that experience and from it I’m a stronger and better person. God had blessed me in so many different ways from my heartbreak that I know now that with whatever we’re facing in life, we need to continue to praise God in the storm, for He sees the beauty and blessings on the other side.

When Lyrics Last in the Dorryard Bloom'd

Reading this poem gave me new insight on just how loved Abraham Lincoln was. In today's society you would never see a man write a poem so complex and intricate for the president of the United States. Abraham Lincoln was one of the greatest presidents our country has ever had. This poem shows that. Walt Whitman's poem deeply describes the sorrow the American people (including himself) had come to face at Lincoln's death. "And he sang the carol of death, and a verse for him I love." "Him I Love" is used throughout this entire poem and it continually reminds the reader how important of a man Abraham Lincoln was to the American people. Out of all of the presidents of the United States, Lincoln was the president who took a situation and confronted it head on. He wasn't afraid to offend others when he decided that slavery needed to be stopped. Instead he wanted to give every person freedom. While the slaves were finally able to get the freedom the deserve, it was Lincoln who couldn't live to see them live out their lives of freedom. Because of his decision to stand firm, his life was taken tragically. I can not imagine how I would of taken it. TO be a girl who witnessed death from the Civil War and once I thought death was finally over with. Our own president is shot dead. That must of taken a toll on the whole country and that is shown throughout Whitman's poem. Abraham Lincoln was a man of character. Not only did he affect the people of the Civil War era, but He is still making an impact on this country today.

I remember...

For our class field trip were visiting a cemetary. Were going to remember those who have lost their lives and wonder what the story of their life was all about. This comes almost a week after the eighth anniversary of September 11. That day is really a day I will never be able to get out of mind. The fear, worry, sorrow, anger and heartbreak were the words running through my head on that awful day.
I remember exactly where I was and the class I had. I remember being called to the office for me to go home early. I remember thinking that my walk to the office was the longest walk of my life. I remember looking up at the faces of the principle and my father knowing that something wasn't good. I remember the dread and fear in my heart because I knew the only way I would of been pulled out of class was if something bad happened. I remember walking the quiet parking lot with my father while questioning myself If I wanted to know just yet, did I want to face the reality of what I was about to hear? I remember looking into the eyes of my father and seeing something I've never seen in his eyes before, I can not even explain what it was. I remember looking up at the clear blue sky and thinking that this was one of the nicest days Maryland had so far for the year, it was a perfect day. I remember asking my dad the question that will impact my life forever. I remember asking him what was wrong, what had happened. And I remember his answer that I will never forget. "America is under attack."

Love and Death

The reading we were required to read in chapter three talked about theme. What is theme? Throughout the next couple of pages it talked about the different kinds of theme and how it could be used in certain ways. The theme of our literature class so far is love and death. Everything we have read is about love and death.
The folk song, “Frankie and Johnny” were about lovers who ended up killing the other over jealousy. “What We Talk about When We Talk about Love” was about the complexities of love and how it can even result to death. “Happy Endings” talks about that even if everyone were to take a different path, love and death will still be an absolute in our lifetime. “What They Carried” is what love can do at a time of war, how desirable and destructible it can be sometimes even leading to death.
I know that it isn’t coincidence that the theme of all of these stories is love and death. I know that there’s an answer from reading all of these stories. The answer is this... Everyone in their lifetime is going to experience love, whether it’s returned or not. Somewhere on this crazy journey that we call life, we are going to know what it feels like to love. Some are going to do crazy things for it, others will give up more than they should for it, others will never of known a better feeling and many will be left broken hearted. However, at one point in everyone’s life, Love is going to be the most amazing thing. Even though it will hurt at times, it’s still “better to of loved than to never of loved at all.” That’s the theme I picked up on from reading all of these stories, the importance of love. For love is the foundation on which we build our lives around.

The Things They Carried

When it comes to talking about war, people barely ever want to talk about it. We say a few words and quickly move on to the next subject. People tend to forget about what a soldier is dealing with everyday. The media depicts them as killers who have ruined the lives of many civilians. For example, every news channel shows the horrors of war, never the good that’s happening from the strength of our soldiers. “The Things They Carried” really made me take a closer look at what a soldier “carries” with them on the battlefield. It’s not just the equipment or guns they carry, but rather what’s running through their mind when it comes to issues such as love or death. We don’t understand the façade they need to carry in order for the men not to see just how fearful they are for their life. They grasp on to letters of their loves with a hope that maybe they will be remembered on the battlefield. That the country their fighting for didn’t forget them in the process.
My heart breaks for the soldiers who are defending our country as I write this. I really will never be able to fully comprehend the emotion and pain each soldier will face as they are fighting for our country. I don’t know what it’s like to watch my best friend be blown up by a suicide bomber. Or to question if this will be my last day. Reading this story has given me a new understanding on what my grandfather faced as a soldier during WWII. While fighting at the battle of Iwo Jima, he saw things that he wouldn’t repeat even to his dying day. This war inflicted scars and memories that was part of him for the rest of his life. He refused to eat Japanese food or purchase a Japanese made vehicle. He hated the Japanese. People thought it was wrong of him to harbor such hate, but what they didn’t understand was the horror he saw with his own eyes. Such as a grenade blowing up his best friend or the malice Japan had as they dropped bombs on ships that held his fellow soldiers at Pearl Harbor. Unless we are a soldier who has fought in a war, we will never be able to fully understand what a soldier carries with him every day in battle.

What we talked about when we talk about love...

When I think of love, my mind always drifts back to that Beatles' song "All You Need Is Love." Love is advertised everywhere. Almost every single song on the radio talks about love, the tv shows always tend to have some small storyline about the two main stars falling in love while trying to solve a crime. Or lets not forget commercials that introduce a product by showing people falling in love over it. Why is this? People want to be loved. The problem in today's society though is that the defintion of love has been tarnished and trampled on. The famous three worded phrase is not even appreciated because of how easily depicted it is. For example, I see couples that are one week into a relationship and already their saying "I love you." Raymond Carver's story "What we talked about when we talk about love" is about two couples who gather around a table and talk about what love is. The diferent answers that come up are somewhat rather crazy. One women belived that her abusive ex boyfriend was madly in love with her because of his proclamation, yet he would stalk her and threaten her life. Her husband questions himself on how he could be head over heels for his first wife and then turn around and hate her now. The question brought up in this story is what is love? I have never been in love but I came close to it and I can say that its something that makes you feel as if your on cloud nine but at the same time it can turn around and leave a bigger scar on your heart because of the love that was shared. Love makes you feel vulnerable to the other person and leaves you trusting them with your whole heart. But what I learned is this. There is no such thing as love at first sight. It is LUST at first sight. Love takes time. Its doesn't just involve a physical attraction, it involves an emotional connection as well. But this doesn't happen instantly. Saying I love you to a person is saying "honey, we've experienced the hardships, the goodtimes, seen each other at our worst and best and from this I can say that I love you with my whole heart, soul and mind." That to me is what love is. Its experiencing and growing from the good and bad things that leaves you to appreciate and cherish the love that was created from going through that. Its the 75 year old man who after surviving a car accident wasn't happy that he survived but rather upset that he couldn't see his wife through his bandages. I can't imagine the capactiy of love that couple had for each other after all those years together. But what I do know is the love they had is authentic and beautiful because of the journey that took them to that place.

What Literature has done for me.

Since I was a little girl I enraptured myself in all kinds of stories that would leave me thinking about it for hours after I was done. Literature has had such a tremendous impact on my life. The first stories that I ever really remember reading was the story of Esther and the Little Mermaid. I didn't even rely on my mom to read it to me, instead I just picked up the book and looked at the pictures imagining what the story was about. I put all kinds of scenarios in my head from all the different colors and pictures, because that was the best way for me to grasp on to the content of the book and fully understand it. From as far back as I could remember, I always remember having some kind of book in my hand. This is still the case for me today. For every extra minute I try to get, I put all thoughts aside and wisk myself away to a whole different world in the books that I read. These books are usually christian historical romance or mystery novels. I love the feeling of being able to take myself into a whole different time zone and to be able to feel the culture. To be able picture the style of the clothes or imagine what the landscape looked like 100 years ago. There is nothing like it. No history book will have the capacity to let you grasp what the feelings and emotion people had when they were used as mercantile brides or the fear of the woman who was all alone during the San Fransisco gold rush. Historical fiction books like that are able to give a little insight of what women just like me went through back then. One of the most influential books I have read so far is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. This story is parallel to the story of Hosea in the bible. Its about a man who is told by God to marry a prostitute named Angel. Throughout the story she kept leaving him and yet he kept chasing after her, letting her know that his love is unconditional. This is a reflection of the story of the love Hosea had for his wife in the bible. This book really pulled at my heart strings because it reminds me of Christ's unconditional love for his children and how even when we keep hurting him over and over He still pursues us to be back in his arms. Literature has a way of pulling at my heart strings and making me see things in at a whole different approach.